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1:05 a.m. - 2003-07-06
men
some days it's hard to have faith in men at all.

i'm sick of being lied to, sick of being used, sick of being persued for my body and not my brain.

i just got the sleaziest invitation i could imagine from some old jackass who wants a sweet young thing he can cheat on his wife with. coming hard on the heels of yet another whiny, grabby, needy little boy masquerading as a man this afternoon is almost enough to make me throw up my hands in disgust and become a lesbian.

not that there's anything wrong with that, mind you. it's just that women are lacking in a certain je ne sais quoi as far as my tastes are concerned. and at any rate, many of the women i know are just as disturbed as the men. we just sometimes hide it better.

the point is, it's hard to imagine how i could be any more disillusioned at this point...

no it isn't.

i could have not just met dave too. and even though he isn't what i need in my life, he's still a pretty strong case for men in general.

thanks, dave. you just saved my idealism. ...or else you just put your whole gender at risk from my further attentions. i guess it could go both ways.

maybe the problem is me.

a friend accused me yesterday of setting my standards too high. of my last few failed relationships, all but one have failed over substance abuse and/or lies about substance abuse. maybe i am too picky, but i'm not willing to be with someone who lies to me, deceives me or uses me, and i don't think that's just me setting my standards too high.

i don't want to ask anything of a partner that i don't also ask of myself.

 

 

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