6:57 p.m. - 2003-10-14
being grown up
i feel like such a fraud in the grownup department. one day someone is going to look a little closer and realize that i'm so far from adult it's a wonder i'm allowed out unsupervised after the streetlights come on.
kate and i hung out doing the sort of thing you really only do when there's no work in sight and no way of knowing when you'll get more... nothing that costs money, and more than a little delirious laughter at our own expense. i'm less worried than her, i think, since i'm the only one dependant on my income, but it still keeps me up more often than i'd like. i'm alternately excited and terrified about going back to school; the schooling part, even the sciences, makes me feel better than i have in ages, but the pressure - and fear that, after another degree, i'll still be unemployable - makes me afraid to take the first step.
bah. nothing to loose but a few years and a few thousand dollars. my marriage cost me more than that and i didn't even get a degree out of it. looking at it that way... i can't wait to get my applications in. (now if only i could choose a major or two...)
