8:03 p.m. - 2003-12-24
xmas. something's missing here.
high above and the screaming shades of pale in my head are echoing the memories of forgotten dreams.
there used to be something inside me, and i took it out. a deceptively shining gem with a thousand glittering facets, dark and bright, green like an emerald, blue like a duck, heavier than a thought but lighter than any meaning, and i threw it far, far out over the rustling canopy of a rain forest.
standing on the precarious path of my marriage, i took out the hope that kept us alive and threw it away, and vowed never to regret the loss.
some nights i lie awake and wonder why it was so bright, and sometimes i wonder why i threw it so far away, and sometimes i wonder why i remember it at all.
