Get your own
 diary at DiaryLand.com! contact me older entries

9:32 p.m. - 2004-06-24
poor kitty/ben lookalike
today when i got home from work i decided to have some pretzels. the cat wouldn't shut up, so i gave her a pretzel too. she played with it, got bored, went out on the deck and attacked the rug. shortly after that, i tossed the pretzel out to her, and she went back to playing with it. now she's lost it between the boards, and is desolately crying over her missing toy. poor kitty.

work is driving me a little nuts; i'm still seeing the 15-hour date guy, and that's going ok, but i'm feeling that he's getting far more into this than i am, and i'm trying to decide if i'm likely to start falling deeper or if i should gently break it off now - i feel as though he's already starting to commit his heart to this, and i'm just not sure that's where i'm headed. in the meantime i'm surrounded by hot and flirty men at work, reminding me that my eye (and mind) will probably always wander, and i'm questioning what i'm still looking for. and there's a guy on this job who has caught my eye since the first time i saw him, and continues to do so in a major way. he reminds me of one of my uber-crushes in a lot of ways, and that's probably a large part of it, but i can't seem to keep my eyes (and thoughts) off of him when he's around. luckily, i suppose, he has a girlfriend, which is reason enough to keep my thoughts to myself. if he were to initiate something, i'm not sure i'd have the strength to stand by that conviction, but it's knowledge that keeps me from actively pursuing him.

and really, all i know of him is how he reminds me of someone i love, which oughtn't be enough to base anything more than a crush on. speaking of my crush... *sigh* i've finally admitted to myself that he just doesn't feel at all the way i do, that it was all just a passing fling for him, and that it's over. it's a slap in the face, but it's probably far and away my turn to be the one being so thoroughly rejected. and hell, i had a lot of fun while it lasted.

 

 

previous - next

about me - read my profile! read other Diar
yLand diaries! recommend my diary to a friend! Get
 your own fun + free diary at DiaryLand.com!