8:53 p.m. - 2004-02-15
bcit
valentine's day massacre
(or "why i am a bad person", part one)
actually, i rock. shall i tell you why? of course i shall. i am filled with enviable rock-like qualities (er. perhaps that could be expressed in a way that makes me sound more enviable, and less crazy, but not right now.) because i have just been accepted into BCIT. seriously. into their sounds-like-it-must-be-for-smart-people-but-isn't-really power engineering program, starting this august. this is super cool not only because a) i got accepted into BCIT, nyah-nyah-nyah!, but also because b) it was enough to make me laugh like a little girl and jump up and down and clap my hands and make me all excited and fabulously happy. and seriously, anything that can bring someone that much glee has got to be cool, not matter how dumb it may seem to an outside observer. i am refraining from looking too closely into just how easy it may be to get accepted into this particular program so's not to burst my bubble too soon, but for now it's just a great big glee-filled evening.
funny, though. i called my dad right away, to tell him, and he just kinda said "that's nice. did you have a good time in vancouver last week? would you like to come over for dinner tomorrow?". as if i'd just told him it was snowing, or that the walls still had windows in them. and, while it's nice to know that he just has that much confidence in me, it still would have been nice if he could have shared some of my enthusiasm. so i called mom to tell her, and she squealed like a cheerleader, which was most gratifying. i'd call my brother too, if i knew what time zone he was in. i'm sure i could find it pretty easily, and in any case it isn't as though he keeps any sort of predictable hours, but i also don't have a telephone number for him.
and now i'm running out of people to tell, since most of my somewhat-respectably employed friends really aren't going to get all that excited about this, and it's all i want to talk about. it'll wear off soon though. i promise.
and anyway, i was going to talk about why i'm not a very nice person, but i just don't feel like it. suffice to say i went to vancouver and had a very good time mostly and tried not to think too hard about a lot of it. valentine's day was entirely uneventful in any sort of romantic way, which was just slightly disappointing, but mostly just relieving. i'm absolutely enjoying the non-relationship i have with this guy just now, and part of that is about having neither expectations nor demands of the other person. and most of it is still about how much i enjoy being with someone who has such a vastly different knowledge and experience base than my own, but with a reasonably similar intellect, curiousity, mindset and, yes, sex drive. so if it's so simple, why am i so afraid of losing it? mmmm. indeed. whatever. he's there, i'm here, and it's not going to work out anyway, so it isn't worth losing sleep over. (i keep telling myself. might even come to believe it, one day soon.)
then, on the drive back, got into a conversation with erica about cars and boys and school and being so old in a school full of keen little 18 year olds, and how weird it all feels to me. she tried to convince me it isn't, but... c'mon. like i need advice on weirdness from someone whose favourite shirt has a cartoon on the front of (i kid you not here. she swears this is true. i'm not sure which is worse - that she has the kind of mind that could think such a thing up, or that it could be the sort of thing that was mass-produced) an otter, dressed up as a bee. really. i mean it.
so her advice on weirdness is to be taken with a grain of salt in any case. where was i going with this? nevermind.
i'm a student again. how cool is that?
