8:46 p.m. - 2004-08-09
the new crush
well... the new mini-crush. the cute one, who wears cowboy boots and has freckles and an endearingly naughty smile. who is, of course, married. well... not entirely by-the-book-legally married, but, in his words, "close enough". *sigh* i'm sure i should be relieved, as having a crush is almost always the best part of the whole experience - once you get past the flirtatious dance and into the meat of a relationship, you learn all the reasons you don't want anything to do with that person, but when it's just a crush you can continue in delirious denial.

on the other hand, he made it entirely, utterly, absolutely clear this afternoon that he would very much like to haul me into the back room and fuck me on the tabletop. or up against the wall. or bent over the work bench. or, well, anywhere, anyhow, and nice and rough - just the way i like it. after a bit of discussion (wherein we tried very hard, for the sake of the neighbouring businesses who can see into his shop, to look like we were discussing work) i learned that although he isn't allowed to mess around behind her back, anything goes as long as she's kept aware and gives her approval. and she likes girls too...

so. he's going to have a little chat with her, and if she says ok, they're going to invite me over to dinner some night, and see how it goes. i'm of several minds about this; 1> he's really hot, and he smells good (pheromones do matter!), and dammit, i'm horny. 2> regardless of how horny i am, i don't want to do anything deceptive, or anything that will result in anyone getting hurt, betrayed or kicked out of his house. 3> if she, for any reason, says no that'll be the end of it, which would suck. if she doesn't know, she can't say no - but that would be wrong. 4> in the end, it'll be whatever she says, and i know that i'll respect that, but damn! i'll be all nervous and making an ass of myself, and since i don't drink, i won't even have that as an excuse. then again, he does, so i'm sure he'll be deflecting it all.

he was actually a little buzzed when i swung by the shop today (i even have a legitimate job he's doing for me, thank you very much. and there you were, thinking i went by just to seduce him. it's purely a coincidence that i was wearing the pants that make my ass look fabulous, and show off my hips so well. yep. pure coincidence.) which made it that much easier... to... um. that is, it made him far more talkative, when he wasn't staring at my hips and drooling.

entirely unrelated note; two bikes just pulled up outside; not the black-leather-clad, harley-riding crowd i've already grown accustomed to, but a couple of rice bikes, full leathers and full face shields. they idled, seemed to chat, then pulled away. seconds later, a ghost car cruised by far too slowly, and parked down the block. ...the next few months could be interesting.

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